The way that BPD is thought to develop is by combining a sensitive child with an invalidating childhood. This is usually an upbringing where the child can never be sure about their own sense of reality. The child is abused or neglected, physically, emotionally, and/or sexually, but this is never outright discussed and if the child mentions it, their parent denies it and/or makes excuses. The child is not allowed to deviate from the party line by having their own thoughts or feelings. They are consistently made to feel small, worthless, stupid, or out of touch with reality. They also frequently feel at risk of abandonment, whether physical or emotional, by a primary caregiver.
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten (Dr. Psych Mom)
