Stop Trying to Heal Your Narcissist…

And heal yourself

Happiness is the best revenge.

You’re not going to find it by proving the narcissist wrong. You’ll die trying, because they can’t be wrong. It’s like cutting water.

You’re not going to change him/her/them.

You can’t heal them, because if it was possible it would already have happened. You know how hard you’ve tried.

You’ve understood their childhood, even when they didn’t.

You’ve cried for them, when they can’t feel anything.

You’ve taken their verbal, emotional, and physical abuse and continued to stay, to forgive, to blame yourself, and to keep the target on your back.

Why?

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

When I was at (what turned out to be) the end of my marriage, I had a moment where I decided to stop trying to save him. I literally said to God, “I repent of my savior mentality” or something like that. I felt the earth shift.

I think that’s when everything changed. I stopped focusing on him and started living in my own skin.

I shudder to think of what would have happened to me and to my kids if I had not done that.