Let me simplify it: integrity vs. immorality. Whether one is emotionally intelligent or not, cheating is a choice. If it's non-consensual, that's rape, not cheating.
In a bad situation? You can still make a choice that doesn't involve cheating. Leave, open the marriage, deal with the conflict, whatever.
All this smoke and fog is to obfuscate the reality that some people just refuse to stay in their lane and keep it in their pants.