Ex-Fundamentalist Bingo

Winners determined by…no, wait, you already won by leaving

• Potluck meals in the fellowship hall. You know whose food to avoid, if the church is small enough.
• Visitation — no, not the angels. Knocking on people’s doors like a church salesman, hoping they wouldn’t answer. Asking them “If you died today, do you know for sure you would go to heaven?” without realizing what a creepy question that is…