Member-only story
Black Sheep: Pivoting Away from Church
And towards God
Seventh-grade.
An awkward time for a kid who didn’t know she was wired to be weird.
And who was also riddled with guilt and even suicidal at times.
Evening church service.
I sit in the pew and stretch my feet out in front of me.
It was the first time I had worn shoes with heels.
It was one of those moments where you sense a new time has come. I felt hopeful, mature.
After the service, I hung out with the other kids in the gravel parking lot, my confidence stronger than usual.
I didn’t know the time would come when I would be the outcast, the black sheep.
And that world would never be mine again.
Leaving that fundamentalist church world was the most important thing I could have done.
It took far too long, but some people will never get there at all.
I once calculated that I have spent 18 solid years sitting in pews and chairs in some form of church service.
EIGHTEEN SOLID YEARS.
Shiny pews that were fun to slide back and forth on.
